it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
