i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
