Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
