it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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