I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
