It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
