i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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