singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
