your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
