my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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