My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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