Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
