My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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