someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
