have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
