He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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