come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
