I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
