Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
