I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize