You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
