If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Randomize
