We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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