the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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