if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
