How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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