Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
