Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
