I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
