You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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