You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize