walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
