one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
