you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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