he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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