Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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