i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
