What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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