We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we're making bets on your personal life
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
