you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize