Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
