I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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