Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
