So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize