Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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