i permit you to call me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
