You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
