I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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