So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
