well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
