Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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(954): View more from Florida

You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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(224): View more from Illinois

It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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(251): View more from Alabama

He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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(224): View more from Illinois

I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.

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(876): View more from Jamaica

I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!

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