he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are two peas in an std pod
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Floor bacon is actually really good
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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