he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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