Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
