sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize