so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
