We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
