Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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