random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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