What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
zippers are such a cool invention
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
