I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Randomize
